Humpty Dumpty
by Smileyfax
Summary: The students and staff of Lawndale High  and a few notable guests  are trapped in a physics-bending bubble. With resources dwindling and life expectancies plummeting, not even all the king's men may be able to save Daria and Jane...
1. Chapter 1

"I don't think he likes you," Jane said, just slightly understating the monologue Tommy Sherman had spat out at Daria when she had confronted him.

"That doesn't bother me," Daria brushed off Jane's observation. "What bothers me is that jerk is going to be treated like a hero for the rest of his life."

"Well, maybe he won't live that long," Jane offered.

"Come on. You know wishes don't come true."

At that moment, a great blinding light filled all of Daria and Jane's perception - and, apparently, that of all the other students, as everybody cried out in surprise or fear. Accompanying the light was a massive roar, and for a fleeting second Daria was sure it was the detonation of a nuclear device.

The inky blackness that replaced the sudden dazzling display did not disabuse her of this notion at first. However, she realized she could still hear her fellow classmates, and could feel Jane tugging on her arm and asking if she were okay. That she was still alive was the strongest indication it was not a nuclear attack. Within seconds, the hall was vaguely illuminated again with the dim glow of lighters, keychain flashlights, and the occasional cell phone screen.

"Come on, Daria, let's get out of here," Jane said, holding her own lighter up for the scant visibility.

The student body slowly filed down the halls, nearly all of them leaving the school outright. Daria was surprised (and a little worried) at seeing the blackness continued outside - whatever happened had blotted the sun out, apparently. She sorted through the possible scenarios of what had happened in her head, but she didn't have enough data yet to know exactly what was wrong.

"Get back here!" Ms. Li shouted behind them, standing at the school doors. "School hasn't been dismissed yet!" Most ignored her.

"At least today wasn't a total bust," Jane said with a smirk. "We got to leave early."

"I guess. I'd take a whole week of school if I didn't have to meet Tommy Sherman again."

"Yikes, he must have really rubbed you the wrong way." Jane made a face at the prospect of more school.

They walked down the sidewalk a few more yards before Daria and Jane both tripped, causing them to yell out loud. "Damnit!" Daria cursed, grabbing her scraped knee. Jane looked down to where they had tripped, holding the lighter close to the ground.

The sidewalk was tattered, like some giant had ripped it in half. Examining around the sidewalk revealed that the tearing extended to the road and the lawn flanking it. On the other side of the 'tear' was grass.

Daria and Jane exchanged a worried look. "Curiouser and curiouser," Daria muttered.

Having no other option, they walked onward through the grass, until they reached a brick building.

"Amiga, I think this is..." Words failed Jane.

Daria nodded, swallowing nervously. "It is. Lawndale High."

They looked behind them. The inky blackness that encompassed everything hid what should have been Lawndale High School from sight. It would have been really comforting to see right about now, especially since they had apparently reached that same building by walking in a straight line.

"Do you ever get the feeling you're going around in circles?" Jane asked. 


	2. Chapter 2

Daria and Jane sat together towards the rear of the auditorium as Ms. Li prepared to address the student body. After it was discovered that it was impossible to leave school grounds without looping back around, they had milled around outside the building until one of the school custodians managed to get the backup generator going. Within minutes, Ms. Li got onto the PA and announced an emergency assembly. Having nowhere else to go, Daria and Jane (and the others) filed into their seats.

"Students of Lawndale High," Ms. Li began, stretching out 'Lawndale' in her customary manner. "Our school has been cut off from the outside world somehow. Phone and Internet lines are down, and nobody has cell phone reception. We aren't receiving any television or radio broadcasts. Currently, I believe that the school fell into a sinkhole which closed up over us -"

"Then how do you explain the fucked-up directions outside?"

"Clearly, students who experience...weird spatial orientation problems just stumbled around lost in the dark before they found this building again. On an unrelated note, voluntary manadatory drug testing will commence after the assembly. Now, in the event that we are trapped down here overnight, I want each student to bunk down in his or her homeroom class..."

Jane ignored the rest of Ms. Li's speech, minutiae about living arrangements in the school. "Hey, amiga, what do you think?" Daria was unresponsive, a thoughtful look on her face. She then stood up and raised a hand to be addressed.

Ms. Li called on her. "Yes, Miss Morgendorffer?"

"If we are sealed in a cave, we should shut down the generators, or at least only run them briefly, at certain times of the day."

The principal frowned. "Why would we do that?"

"Well, if we're in an enclosed space, the poisonous fumes given off by the generator might kill us all. Unless you have one of those magic generators which give off the aroma of roses as exhaust."

Ms. Li frowned at the point, but nodded. "Very well. The generators will remain on long enough to serve lunch, then they will be shut off until tonight, when people may utilize the bathrooms before sleeping."

After the assembly, everybody filed into the cafeteria to have lunch. Daria and Jane found the cafeteria food to be lacking as usual, but did not turn their noses down at it, for the unstated fear of not having many more meals ahead of them.

"That was a good catch, about the air supply," Jane pointed out.

"Mn," Daria replied noncommittally.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Daria shot Jane a look.

"Right, of course not. But...what's on your mind?"

Daria frowned, then spoke. "Something Ms. Li said, about not getting any TV or radio broadcasts."

"What's strange about that?" Daria didn't answer the question, and they ate on in silence.

After eating, they went to an empty classroom where a TV sat on a wheel-cart. Jane watched as Daria turned it on and flicked through all the channels. After doing it two more times, Daria frowned and turned off the TV, heading for her locker. Inside was an emergency radio, the kind with a crank on the side so you could charge it up without batteries. She cranked it for a few minutes, then turned it on and scanned through all AM and FM frequencies.

"Do you hear that?" Daria asked.

"What? I don't hear anything."

"Precisely."

"Huh?"

"Where's the static?"

"The static?"

"Jane, every radio and television ever made - well, except for TVs made in the past few years, I think - have a universal characteristic: If you tune them to a frequency that isn't being broadcast on, you get static."

"...Yeah?"

"Jane, that static is actually the residual radiation from the Big Bang that still echoes around the universe. And we're not hearing it. That radiation isn't supposed to just be gone, not for millions and millions of years."

"Maybe...maybe Ms. Li's cave-in theory is right?"

Daria shook her head. "If we were far enough underground to block off the static, there would be enough heat to...I dunno, cook us alive, I think. Not to mention the school falling from that kind of height would have pulverized the building, not to mention all of us." Daria shook her head, rubbing her temples with her free hand. "We are someplace else. Someplace very, very fucking else." 


End file.
